Groucho Marx Quote

I know hundreds of husbands who would be happy to come home if there wasn't a wife waiting for them.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Groucho Marx

Son, happiness is made up of little things: a small yacht, a small mansion, a small fortune...

Groucho Marx

The downside of love is that many confuse it with gastritis, and when they have recovered from the discomfort, they find themselves married.

Groucho Marx

There are so many things in life more important than money! But they cost so much!

Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

Excuse me if I call you gentlemen, but I don't know you very well.

Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair play, if you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind her, his wife.

Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception.

Groucho Marx

Why do they call it love when they mean sex?

Groucho Marx

You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, which doesn't say much in your favor.

Groucho Marx