Groucho Marx Quotes

These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.

Military intelligence are two contradictory terms.

I lived with a woman for almost two years until I discovered that her tastes were exactly like mine: we were both crazy about girls.

I don't know what you're going to ask me, but I object.

Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

Anyone who says they can see through women is missing out on a lot of things.

I've had an absolutely wonderful night. But it hasn't been this one.

Marriage is a great institution. Of course, if you like living in an institution.

Why should I care about posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?

I will never watch movies where the hero's chest is bigger than the heroine's.

I must confess that I was born at a very young age.

Room service? Send me a larger room.