Groucho Marx Quotes

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Son, happiness is made up of little things: a small yacht, a small mansion, a small fortune...

The downside of love is that many confuse it with gastritis, and when they have recovered from the discomfort, they find themselves married.

There are so many things in life more important than money! But they cost so much!

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Excuse me if I call you gentlemen, but I don't know you very well.

The secret of life is honesty and fair play, if you can fake that, you've got it made.

Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind her, his wife.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception.

Why do they call it love when they mean sex?

You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, which doesn't say much in your favor.