Ambrose Bierce

A boring person is the one who speaks when you want them to listen to you.

If you want your dreams to come true, wake up!

Everyone is mad, but the one who analyzes their madness is called a philosopher.

An egotist is a person who thinks more about themselves than about me.

A woman would be lovely if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Patience: a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.

Politics is the management of public affairs for the benefit of individuals.

Optimism is the belief that everything is beautiful.

Marriage: State or condition of a community composed of a master, a concubine, and two slaves, all within just two people.

Making a game of business cannot be compared with the business of gaming.

A coward is a person in whom the instinct of self-preservation still functions normally.

Reasoning: weighing probabilities on the scale of desire.